Living with Anxiety and depression brought on by chronic illness, hope can be tough to come by. But once you find it and grab hold of it, hope itself grabs hold of you and keeps you safe from the things that try to bring you down and break you apart.
Hope is one thing that I have always looked towards, especially during these last ten years.
Learning that my brain surgeries wouldn't free me of seizures, I relied heavily on hope to get me through the most anxiety-ridden days, and I still do today. When life looks dim, and all I can see is the vision of the future that hasn't happened yet, I close my eyes, breathe deeply, let it out, and put my hand on my heart. I allow myself to know that this is my only moment, and I let hope take the wheel and keep me grounded.
Hope next to gratitude has been the one constant in my life that I turn to whenever I am anxious, afraid, or feel like things just aren't working out as they should. Once I let go of the thought that things aren't going to go well and let the peace and comfort of hope in, things in life look a little less messy, and the mess still around me starts to look beautiful.
There is so much in my life today that I can choose to let bring me down. The fact that life hasn't worked out for me as it should; I still have seizures after my three brain surgeries and have continued to have surgeries over the past ten years for various things, and I may still get anxious and depressed from time to time, but I always look towards hope. It is the thing that floats right above you and is there in your moment of need. You are the one who has to grab it, though.
Dear hope,
I know you are out there, and I promise never to lose you, no matter how hard things may get. When the world tells me to give up, I softly hear you whisper, GIVE IT ONE MORE TRY. Thank you for always keeping me one step closer to my dream and lifting me up when I needed it most.
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