Michael J Fox Once Said: Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's going to be a way through it.
I never looked at life this way before my suicide attempt in 2012, and even further in 2013, after my brain surgeries, but when I did, my life began to open up in ways I never thought I could imagine, and I saw myself in a completely different light. The situations and circumstances that were once hard for me to accept and come to terms with didn't disappear; I will always have three chronic illnesses that create random bouts of Anxiety and depression. However, what did disappear was how I allowed myself to be controlled by
them.
Focusing on what you don't have, you will always have less, but if you accept it and see it for what it is in the moment, you will always have more. Coming to terms with my reality was never an option in my life. I always fought the fact that I had "problems" I wanted so badly to be "normal," so whenever I was around someone else, I would try to hide the fact that I was physically disabled, and I never would say that I had Epilepsy. I would say I was ashamed of having these unique and awesome traits, but that was false; I was embarrassed to show others my extraordinary and individual characteristics. Deep down inside, I always knew I was unique and special, but I didn't know how others would react toward me.
I realized after my brain surgeries in 2013 that it didn't matter what others thought of me, but rather it was what I thought about myself that truly mattered. The better I felt about myself and accepted what couldn't be changed, the easier it was for me to open up to others and create new relationships. I began to see myself differently in the mirror when I started to own all that is and embrace it for all it is. I acknowledged all my flaws and imperfections and began to see them as a part of me, not something that defined me. The more I acknowledged my shortcomings and weakness, the less I became bothered by them. I saw them as something to be proud of instead of ashamed of; I saw them as a badge of honor that showed courage, strength, and hope. I saw them as something I could use to help others move through their beautiful mess and know they could live beautiful lives even amidst chaos.
Acceptance of any life circumstance is no easy task at first. It stings a lot. You will fight the fact that you are going through something and try to ignore that it's there, and that may work for a little while, but eventually, you will have to face it. The beautiful thing about acceptance is that you don't have to like it, but if you allow yourself to acknowledge it and make peace with its presence, whatever the circumstance you are going through becomes so much easier to live with.
Be grateful in this life, and love it for all it is. Promise to love and accept all you are on the inside and out, and realize that you were given this life for a reason.
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